Crushing the Individual Spirit

In tough economic times like these, it’s good to remember to take a moment to watch the individuality of the human population scrapped off the corporate heel. I know I’d regret missing it!

Most people survive from day to day on hourly wages. These days, less hours are needed or paid for at least. This means more people are struggling for fewer jobs and in order to get these jobs, people are hiding anything unique about them. Sure, people say you need to find a way to make your resume stand out among thousands just like yours. But this isn’t done through anything other than admitting you’re willing to subject yourself to the worst of “go-getting.” People who stand out, they’re weird and no one wants to hire that.

The application itself is the worst. The single fact that you have to fill one out means the company you are applying for doesn’t want highly qualified individuals and yet they demand someone overqualified for the position. It’s a bit of a paradox, I know. Furthermore, these applications are 90% the same: 3-6 previous employers, 2-3 references, education, etc. The poor little unemployed have to keep filling out the same application over and over again, wasting untold hours on pointless paperwork.

The interview is my favorite though. You and someone from human resources have to dance around each other in fun little ways.

“So, what makes you the best for this job?”

You can’t say you’ll bend over backwards and despite being overqualified you’ll shallow your pride and continue to do this demeaning labor as you age and your dreams die. Nope, you have to say you’re a people person.

If only all lies could slowly crush the teller into the truth!