Where are the Squirrel Bones?

Where are all the squirrel skeletons? There must be 50 squirrels in the tree outside, but I never see skeletons. Sure, I see a dead body occasionally, but never the skeletal remains. Skeletor’s face is nothing BUT bone and it seems pretty resilient, so where are all the squirrel bones?

Secondly, how come I’ve never seen a squirrel taking a dump or tons of squirrel droppings? How can a tree full of squirrels not have a pile of poop at the base?

I’m currently operating under the theory squirrels are vampires. If this is true (and it totally is because it explains EVERYTHING!), we should all be pretty terrified of those nut hoarders. Myself, I’ve started sleeping with a BB gun under my pillow should one break into my room to drink my blood.

Beware!