Strip Clubs = Dumb

Strip clubs are a stupid idea. The regulars have probably had sex with several of the strippers before you’ve even got there and those same regulars are in the room with you because they're regulars! It’s like going on a first date with some sleazy chick while her ex-boyfriend tags along and he's probably carrying a knife.

Yea, I can’t think of a situation I’d rather be in more. Hello, you’re quite attractive and taking off your clothing. By the way, that man over there has asked me to tell you about the need to get checked out for gonorrhea, no need to spend any more time with me, have a five.

A strip club is like being handed a dirty magazine from a guy leaving a bathroom. Sure the magazine is probably awesome, but I don’t want to freakin’ touch it.